I love success breakthroughs. I really do. Naturally, I love my own breakthroughs best, but witnessing someone else’s breakthrough runs a close second. Especially when it’s a single mom.
Today I was coaching a wonderful woman. She was having some trouble setting powerful goals. Her goals were just plain weak. I don’t mean to sound heartless or anything, but she wasn’t setting her sights on anything she was really passionate about. The whole point of seting goals is to choose somehting you really really want and then state it in a powerful way and take steps to get what you want.
Anyway, this woman told me she has spent her whole life caring for other people. Her mother was very ill when she was growing up, so she took care of her mother and her brotehrs. Her entire life has been about other people.
Actually, I see this a lot in my personal coaching. Women are constantly put into the nurturing caregiver role, sometimes whether we want it or not. When someone is put in that role long enough, they start to forget all about their wants and needs. In fact, they even may go so far as to feel guilty when they take time for pampering or buy things for themselves.
But how can you share from an empty cup?
As women, we have to learn how to take care of ourselves. We have to treat ourselves and love ourselves enough to meet our wants and needs. By fulfilling these basic needs, we are better able to serve others. This is the same advice I gave her, and she is starting to get it. So she begins by picturing what her life would look like if she gets to come first. What an exciting time for her! I could practically hear the gears turning in her head as she started to ponder a life of her own creation, without all the “have to’s” and “gotta do’s”.
Here’s a thought to ponder (not just for women, but for anyone!):
What would you do if you REALLY loved yourself?
I’ve heard all kinds of answers to that question. I’ve heard people say they’d get a massage every week, they’d quit their horrible job, they’d leave their abusive husband, they’d go back to school and get theuir degree, they’d take a vacation, they’d take a bubble bath, they’d get in shape, they’d move closer to their kids, they’d make amends with their mother, and any other thing you can imagine. But what about you?
What would YOU do if you really loved yourself?
I have the best job in the whole world. I get to help people get what they want. I can’t imagine any better way to spend my days. (Plus, I get to be a stay at home mom, which I absolutely love.) What I really want is to be the best mom for my baby. And I know that everything I do is setting an example for her. So I strive to be the best person I can, to set an example for her. So she will learn to take care of herself before trying to assist others. That makes me feel pretty darn good.
Anway, if I can help *you* get what you want, feel free to drop me an email.
Until then….do something nice for yoruself. Success is a life of your own design.
Talk to you soon!