Life is about learning, in my opinion (well, learning and loving, but today we’re talking about learning) and I learned something new and cool this weekend about the Art of Being Selective.
Over the weekend, we attended a birthday party for one of my daughter’s friends, and since we’re friends with her mom and dad (and since it was about 20 mins from our house), we stuck around and decided to hang out.
Man, am I glad we did.
I met some of the coolest parents I’ve met in my town since we moved here five years ago.
It’s funny, but people tend to be so engrossed in their own shit that they can’t even stay present long enough to hold a decent conversation. Haven’t you noticed that? That’s what causes cliques, low self-esteem, boredom, insecurities, bitchiness, spouse-bashing and a whole lot of other stuff.
BUT…this gathering was different.
About halfway through the party, after several engaging conversations with genuinely COOL and NICE people, I commented to my husband “these are some of the nicest people we’ve ever met at a birthday party,” and he was in total agreement.
When the party ended we said goodbye to our friends (the hosts), I made the same remark to her. She just smiled and said, “Well, that’s how I planned it. Some of the other moms, I just told them ‘oh, you can just drop her off, it’s fine’ so that way I could be selective about who was here.”
Wow. That is genius, in my opinion.
I have noticed that the more selective I am about things that I choose, the easier it is to be happy. I don’t commit to social engagements or volunteer work that I’m not totally enthusiastic about, and I rarely do things I don’t want to do, and that keeps my stress levels fairly low. It keeps me from feeling like I have to accommodate others to my own detriment, like I have to “sacrifice” anything, or feeling like I’m stuck or trapped.
But it never occurred to me that there is always a way to (politely) be selective, even in situations where I didn’t think it was possible.
So bravo! Thanks to my dear friend, I’ve learned something new, made new friends, and got a newer, fresher perspective on the Art of being Selective!