Not so long ago, I had a really challenge with asking for help. Yep, I was one of “those people.” The kind who had to do it all themselves, didn’t want to burden anyone or put them out. Or had to prove I could do it all. Or maybe, the real reason was my crippling fear of rejection — to ask for help and demonstrate a weakness, and then have somone reject my request for help, well that just wasn’t an option for the person I used to be.
But I’m not ashamed to ask for help anymore. Thank God. Because I don’t believe I could accomplish everything I’ve committed to achieve in this lifetime if I didn’t have any help. (At least, not without losing my sanity or becoming a workaholic.)
Fortunately, I’ve never had anyone get mad, or yell at me, or call me names just because I asked for help. Sure, I’ve had people say no, from time to time. They aren’t able to, or don’t have the time, or just simply aren’t willing to help.
Believe it or not, I actually respect the person who tells me they aren’t willing to help MORE than I respect someone who says yes when they mean no and then doesn’t follow through.
But that’s another topic for another day.
The reason I’m writing you about this topic (asking for help) today is because later today I’m having bunion surgery on my foot. I’ve had bunions for YEARS — probably since college, or shortly thereafter. But the pain has only gotten difficult to bear in the past six months or so, most likely since I started exercising daily.
A bunion is a bone deformity, and although research has been done, no one really knows the cause. In my case (as is commonly the case) I would attribute it to years of wearing pointy high-heeled shoes all day, when I worked in Corporate America. Now, even though I spend most of my time barefoot or in flip-flops, my feet look deformed and walking/running becomes very painful.
Yes, I could bike instead. But I LOVE walking! It is in fact part of my process as a writer. Walking and jogging inspire me, clear my head, and help me solve huge problems, and believe it or not, I don’t get that from swimming, or biking, or working out at the gym.
The surgery description might make you cringe, but I’ll say it anyway. The doctor will actually break the largest bone in my foot, rotate that bone, and reset it with two pins. I’ve never had a broken bone before, so I don’t know what kind of pain level to expect. I expect it will hurt, but I don’t know how much. Then there are varying stages of recovery, but the whole thing is expected to take 12 weeks.
Kind of a long time for someone who’s accustomed to moving through life at 90 miles an hour.
And yes, I realize the symbolism of the foot, and its metaphysical meaning.
But this is enough for now. I’ll share more tomorrow, after the surgery.
Wish me luck, like, and rapid, effective healing!